The very injudicious remarks of Lawrence Summers, the president of Harvard, about the "innate differences" of men and women in regards to science and math have made national news and are all over the "blogosphere," the network of Weblogs. You can read a summary of Summers at this location, if you are interested. The event and the little storm of controversy it has unleashed brings me again to a subject which is constantly on my mind as I pursue my own math and physics quest. Namely, that of gender. I cannot achieve the kind of righteous indignation that some of the women scientists in the discussion have. What I feel is more like depression, because despite all their protestations, I still suspect that what Summers said has some truth in it.

I haven't talked about gender too much on this Weblog, not because I don't have anything to say, but because it would enrage and alienate some of my readers. And I don't have that many readers anyway so I don't want to lose them. I have noticed in my discourse with scientists that as soon as I bring up the gender issue, they either stop talking to me, or they ignore me, or they deny there is such a problem. (This is true even with the female scientists I've talked to!) Not all my scientist contacts are like that of course, and one or two of them (you know who you are) have been courageous, or patient enough to rationally discuss it with me. But most of the time, it's better for me not to bring it up because I want to be diplomatic and learn physics.

Therefore I won't go off on a long personal diatribe on my unhappy personal history with mathematics and science and how it relates to being female. I can provide you with my rant in private correspondence, if you are truly interested in such a thing. But as I pursue the path I was called to back in 2000, I know that I am at a disadvantage, because I did not get the background I needed when I was young. And if Summers and those who support his views are right, I was born with a disadvantage due to my gender. And even more, not only don't I have the mental watts to light up the physics bulb, I'm far too old to have the mental athletic ability needed to leap those mathematical hurdles and do the Olympic gymnastics that spring through space and time. I'm just beginning to study math and physics at an age where (according to what I've read) most mathematicians and physicists have finished doing their best and most creative work.

It doesn't help that I obsessively read the personal web pages of physicists (of both genders) and find out how active and energetic and young and brilliant they are. They travel the world the way I travel my local neighborhood. Seems like not only do they smash atoms or spin string theory in their working days, on their off-days they hike in the wilderness, climb craggy mountains, run marathons, ski deep powder snow, play the saxophone in hip jazz clubs, or do other super things. Jeez, I can barely get out of bed most days, especially in winter.

So when I do even a modest bit of mathematics or physics, like vectors (which I am now reviewing) it's a major victory for me. It comes down to a matter of scale, at least right now. And I do have some basic and important advantages, as a friend pointed out to me. Not only do I have the underlying (and rare!) advantage of being able to function as an independent female in a technologically advanced society, I am not faced with the pressures of school or family. And I have something which can overcome any disadvantage, even far more than the ones I have quoted. I have determination. That alone is going to take me a long way.

Posted at 2:49 am | link